cloudsWhat if we were clouds?
Cumulous clouds,
Billowy and full.
All of our hard edges
Softened by the weather
Of life,
Of love.
What if you could fall into me
And I could fall into you?
What if we could hold each other in that gentle space
of the sky?
Above the noise,
The din,
The inconsequential.
What if we let ourselves move
In ways that were natural?
Not dictated on shoulds,
Or thoughts,
Or supposed to be.
What if we took shape
Together?
Me into you,
You into me.
What if we were clouds?


Saturday, March 19th, 2016 0

How

PX680_self_rsHow quickly the tears return,
Welling up, spilling over, streaming down.
The ache in the core of my chest,
Deep within my ribcage,
Under the muscles I’ve built this past year.
Strength from vulnerability.
Despite riding a high of friendship and being seen,
It’s still there.
A longing.
A want.
A need.
It’s not about the past,
No, that is laid to rest.
It’s about today,
                      and the next,
                                        and the next.
She said…
“I want to take all our pains away, but how would we then recognize happiness and joy?”
Indeed, how?


Thursday, March 3rd, 2016 3

I am a mermaid
Cast upon the shore
But this shore is a prairie
And I all I see before me is grain
Yes, the grain feeds me
But…I need the water
Shipwrecked, of sorts
Who will bring me to the sea?
Take me back
Quench my body in undulating waters
I am a mermaid


Tuesday, February 9th, 2016 1

snow treeBuild a strong root in yourself,
A groundedness that is always there.
Then grow, trust that your foundation will hold you, get stronger.
Let your heart create branches that reach, far out to spread love.
Even in winter, be warm, be sturdy, and love.


Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016 1

I went to a screening of Janis: Little Girl Blue this weekend, and was blown away by the powerhouse that Janis Joplin was. Like so many creative people who have died too young, I couldn’t help but contemplate what she would have gone on to make and do in this world had she not been gone at the age of 27. One of Janis’ bandmates described her as someone who lived with enormous emotional honesty, for better and for worse.

Emotional honesty. This phrase has been lingering in my mind since I saw the film. It hit a chord in me as I believe I have been leaning into that very type of being. Living and loving with my whole heart. While that may sound all unicorns and rainbows, I can assure you it is not. Yes, living with my heart wide open includes parts that are beautiful and rich and amazing. But. Not wearing armor is also RAW. Tender. Vulnerable.

bouys_lightleak_rs

Still, for better and for worse, I wouldn’t live any other way. Emotional honesty is living the truest version of myself. It’s being all in. It’s risking everything to have everything. I’m learning that we cannot have the fullest love, the fullest relationships, the fullest experiences, without risk, without emotional honesty. And yes, that takes enormous trust and is scary as hell. As buoys in this sea of emotional honesty, I hold on to Brené Brown’s sentiment that we cannot selectively numb. That is, we can’t numb out pain, heartache, and disappointment without also numbing joy, happiness, and love. Numbing is numbing, across the board.

Living and leaning into emotional honesty means I’m going to cry at yoga. Ache in my heart. AND. It also means I’m going to laugh with my whole body. Be bliss-filled. And love the whole experience — darkness and light — all the same. Emotional honesty. I’m in.


Tuesday, January 26th, 2016 12