Sorry–I was Trying to Focus on “What Matters”

Sunday, August 1st, 2010 7
Posted in: Funk, Nature, Refocus

Perhaps I didn’t choose the best time to start my blog. After all, I wrote and published the first post, and then ditched town on vacation without a computer or internet access. I realize that a week and half between blog postings probably doesn’t equal readership. But…I was excited and bubbling with anticipation to start the blog, even knowing that I would have to step away from it for over a week. I needed to dive in, take the plunge into the blogosphere, before I listened to those naysaying voices in my head and chickened out. So, I apologize to the dozen of you who checked out the blog and then have heard crickets ever since. I’ll be better, or rather, more frequent. Promise.

I have been “refocusing” this past week, though, spending time with friends in beautiful Colorado. Maybe it is more truthful to say that I was trying to refocus this past week. You see, I’ve been feeling like I’ve needed to go on vacation all summer. The non-productive (and humid of late) months of May, June, and most of July were just wearing me down.  Suffice it to say, I was in a FUNK. You know the funks where nothing is really wrong, you just feel cranky, kinda down, sensitive (maybe overly so), a bit dissatisfied by whatever it is you’re doing…Well, I was in one of those. So I was really looking forward to the Colorado vacation to help shake me loose of that funk, to have time to spend with my partner and good friends, to reconnect with nature and ground myself, to take some photos of the gorgeous scenery, to enjoy a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on top of a mountain after a long climb. I was looking forward to being unplugged, away from work, responsibilities, and my never-ending to-do list.

Good friends, enjoying the view of Longs Peak from our deck.

And I did do most of those things–I did spend time with my partner and friends, I immersed myself in nature, hiked lots of trails, and had many a PB+J. I played around with taking photos of the landscape, friends, gear, and anything that whispered to my heart. I drank scads of wine and great Colorado and Oregon beer. I even broke 400 in a game of Yahtzee. But, I still didn’t totally shake that funk. I still couldn’t totally turn off my brain and refocus. Thoughts of stressful work issues, difficult relationship dynamics, and other “I’m not enough-ness” crept in. I wasn’t too happy about that (still not). I kept trying to remind myself that none of that stuff was important. I kept telling myself to look around, take in the view. I kept refocusing, over and over, on the knowledge that right now, life is good, and that I’m with some of the people that matter most to me. And that helped…some. I guess I am realizing that this whole refocusing thing is gonna take practice, a lot of practice. But I’ll keep working at it, one step at a time.

7 Responses

  1. Laura says:

    Megs… we are so happy to be part of your journey, we will be with you for 100% of the steps along the way. We love you with all our hearts, and are proud to be in your inner circle. LOVE the photos, love the posts… hooray for being funk-free and for all the sunny days to come.

  2. Eric Johnson says:

    I can relate to your funk- have been in one for like 6 months now. The only thing that works for me is quality time with family and friends or climbing a mountain. Sounds like you did both of those.

  3. Still can’t shake that funk, huh? I guess it’s going to just take some time. It looks like you had a marvelous time, and I hope it helped shake some things loose for you, if nothing else. Enjoying the journey you’re on…

  4. Mark says:

    Glad you got some time away. My prescription: a reunion of poker night! Love your pics.

  5. mary says:

    Love the photos Meghan. I think that getting out of town, and doing something outside in a beautiful location is not a luxury, but a necessity! If you are ever up for some very early(ie.. before the heat, humidity, and work of the day hit) walks, let me know. We could meet at a trail somewhere and go from there. The only question is, which is better for our psyche – early morning walk, or sleep?! Guess it depends on the day. 🙂

  6. Tiffany Hogan says:

    Meghan, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog – it truly speaks to me. Your pictures are gorgeous – you have a great ‘eye’!

  7. Meghan says:

    Thanks for all the comments and support. Eric, I hope you shake your funk soon, and would like to think that Rainier helped. Elizabeth, it’s shaking loose and glad you are on the journey with me. Mark, a poker night with the old gang would be great. And Mary, I’d love a walk sometime!

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