Holding It Close
I’m back from my time at Camp–Squam Art Workshops–and I’m filled with gratitude, inspiration, and warmth. I felt so beautifully invited into all that Squam is from the moment I arrived. Yes, the lake and scenery is breathtaking and enveloping on their own, but the community created among this group of people is not quite like any other I’ve experienced. Although so many people there were returning to Squam for a second and third time, they opened their arms wide to allow us newbies to walk into their embrace.
This welcoming was critical for me (and many others, I’m sure) as I found myself feeling a bit anxious. I had been so excited all summer, waiting for September to come so I could pack my bags and head to New Hampshire for this creative adventure. But as last Monday and Tuesday rolled around, I started to feel the creep of the “impostor syndrome” descend upon me like so many times before. I started to have thoughts of not fitting in, not being seen, not being creative or artistic enough. I felt like I’d be “found out.” And although many of those feelings of doubt lingered internally, I was only met by love.
I need time to reflect on my experiences at Squam, time to integrate all the pieces. Getting home late on Sunday and diving into work the next day hasn’t allowed me the room to let it all settle. Reality came too quickly and I need to carve out some space to really listen to all the reverberations.
Once I do, I will share more about my journey at Squam–the fabulous people, the terrific workshops, the cozy cabins, the wonderful teachers, and yes, my mental dialogue (and berating of self). Until then, I’m holding it close.