To Be An “Artist”

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011 10
Posted in: Refocus, SOOC, Swirling

I have always wanted to be an artist. Most of my life, my friends, my partners, and people whom I admired and learned from have been artists. But I never felt like I was an “artist.” Remember, I was the little girl whose 2nd grade teacher definitively asserted on my report card that I had no artistic talent whatsoever. So for a long time, I resigned myself to being “the smart one.” I focused my energies on academics while filling my free-time with visiting museums and galleries, going to the theatre, connecting relationally to artists, and wishing I could be like “them.”

Finally, my heart gave in. I decided sitting on the creative sidelines wasn’t an option anymore. And since then, I’ve been steady on my journey of crafting a juicy, inspired, and creative life. My road hasn’t been an easy one, and I continually find myself battling the demons inside that call me an “imposter” and scoff at my yearnings. But I persist.

This past week, two different people on separate occasions referred to me as an “artist.” Me, an artist…I was successful both times in not correcting them, though the demons would have preferred me to. And in the days that have passed since those utterances, I’ve been hearing the reverberations of that word…artist. And I’ve been trying that word on, seeing how it fits. I am an artist. It still feels a bit uncomfortable, like an itchy tag at the back of my shirt. But maybe one day soon, artist will feel like a worn-in leather glove.

10 Responses

  1. Lindsey says:

    Oh, bravo. Not entirely surprisingly, I had the same experience growing up, the same reluctance to own the title of artist, and the same imposter issues. To me, lady, you’re unquestionably an artist. Through and through.

  2. sashaclem says:

    i believe “artist” is something you travel toward not a title you are born with. it’s a set of skills you acquire and work for, like “doctor” or “therapist”; not a description of innate traits like “tall” or “flexible”. you, my friend, have decided to gift the world with creations all your own and so… you are an A.R.T.I.S.T! keep saying it loud and proud (and tell the demon voices to shut the f*ck up!) x0x0

  3. Liz Lamoreux says:

    love this. yes yes yes!!!!
    so proud of you beautiful girl!

  4. Amy says:

    Wishing you well on your path of internalizing this, Meghan. xo

  5. rebecca says:

    Ah, and even more connections reveal themselves. πŸ™‚ Over the years my employment opportunities placed me in proximity to those I might call true artists, but somewhere inside myself I always said that I “wanted to BE the artist” and not “work in SERVICE of an artist” (other than myself I guess:)). I still don’t find that label very fitting on myself, but on you? It suites just perfectly. Enjoy your beautiful, artful life. πŸ™‚

  6. Jess Greene says:

    Oh how I recognize the demons and the desire to be an artist. I finally started calling myself one a year or so ago and it still feels akward. But you are and I am and I’m sure the well worn feeling will come! πŸ™‚

  7. Tiffany Hogan says:

    you are definitely an artist Meghan!!!

  8. kerry says:

    Happy to read this post……You are an amazing ARTIST…..

    Keep your creative energy flowing……….

  9. mary says:

    Love this, Meghan. Claiming a label takes real courage and I really admire you for embracing it. You’re a brilliant artist!

  10. Melissa says:

    As always, love your honesty and candor. So inspiring– I think many of your readers are really growing as we go on this journey with you to lead a more creative life. Keep up the wonderful work, artist.

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