Category : Polaroid
Over the last 12 months, as I’ve been shooting my 365 IMPOSSIBLE Self-Portraits, I’ve realized that my “other” photography has taken a hit. With carving out time each day to take a self-portrait while also having a very full-time job, many other photographs simply haven’t been taken. There are only so many hours in the day, right? So I began looking over the seemingly handful of images that I have shot recently that aren’t photos of me, and I did come across a few gems like this one from my trip to Santa Fe…
It’s the 10th of the month and it’s time for some photo riffing! This month, the talented and wicked funny Cherish Bryck gave us our photo prompt, challenging us to riff off the following image she recently shot…
Given I’m in the very last days of shooting my 365 IMPOSSIBLE Self-Portraits, I knew I would riff in a self-portrait. I actually had already developed a similar idea to this photo that I wanted to shoot, so Cherish’s photo prompt gave me the exact push to execute the following photo…
Head on over to Tamar’s site to see her version of this month’s photo riffing.
I feel it all.
The hard edge and the softness.
The joy and the grief.
The dark and the light.
The relief and the sadness.
The noise and the solitude.
The emptiness and the fullness.
I feel it all.
I’ve fallen. Hard. I’m in love all over again. I knew I shouldn’t have. There were compelling reasons NOT to. Many compelling reasons. But love knows no logic.
One month to go. That’s it. Just one more month of this 365 IMPOSSIBLE Self-Portraits journey. Seemingly just like that — *snap* — I’ve got only 30 more days to capture myself on instant film. 30. More. Days. I’m relieved…and, I’m terrified.
I’m relieved because, if I’m honest, the project has been daunting. A 365 project of any sort is daunting. A self-portrait project, of any duration, is daunting. A 365 instant photography project is daunting. And yet, I combined all three of these — 365, self-portrait, instant film — and it has
sometimes many times felt formidable. But here I am. In the homestretch. I’ve got 335 instant self-portraits under my belt. And the relief of not having to ask myself each and every day, “how am I going to shoot myself tomorrow?” is beckoning me.
While that sweet relief is enticing, I’m also terrified. With only 30 photos to go, I feel a weighty stress within myself. The voice in my head is taking on a sinister tone, imploring me, warning me, demanding me…”You better make ‘em count.” That critical voice knows of my longing for gallery shows and exhibits, of my desire to share the work that has been largely only mine, seen mainly only by me, during this past year. That voice has keenly observed my dreams of writing a book, a memoir borne of and including these self-portraits. And rather than gently encouraging me, bolstering me, guiding me during these last short weeks, the voice in my head is cracking the whip and scaring the hell out of me. That voice is stirring up the gremlins of “what if my photos aren’t good enough?,” “what if nobody cares?,” “what if no one wants to hear my story?,” “what if no one sees me?” And all those what-ifs…they’re terrifying.
So yeah…one month to go. 30 days of relief and terror.
It’s the 10th and you know what that means? My circle of photog sisters are blog-hopping today! Last month we launched a new idea where one person selects a photography she shot and the rest of the group free-associates, or riffs, off that photo. It’s a way to get inspired, perhaps try something new, and then share it among our community. For this month’s riff, the group decided that I select one of my photos to get the riffing going. Here’s the photo I selected, one of my self-portraits from my 365 IMPOSSIBLE Self-Portraits project…
This photo is Day 255, and it a double-exposure shot in-camera with my Spectra. Like all of my photographs for 365 IMPOSSIBLE Self-Portraits, it has not been Photoshopped or edited in any way. I’m so excited to see what my photography sisters shot, inspired by my photo. So here’s to another round of photo riffing! Let’s get this blog-hop going by clicking over to Tara’s site to see her riff on my photo.
I went to undergrad with the intention of getting a biology degree and going on to medical school. I did earn a biology degree, but realized very late in the game that medical school wasn’t the best fit for me. I worked full-time in D.C. for a few years after graduating, trying to find my way, (re-)discover my career path. About two years later, I knew I had to go back to school. I realized that psychology was where my interest lie, and that I wanted to go to graduate school. Unfortunately, I had ZERO undergraduate credits in psychology.
So, I went back to undergrad to earn a second degree in psychology and determine what type of psychology to pursue in graduate school. During these two additional years of undergrad, I discovered Counseling Psychology through a fabulous mentor. I was on fire about this field and the work that I could do. I realized that becoming a university professor where I could do research and teach was my ideal career. I then applied to doctoral programs and was accepted at my “dream school,” the University of Missouri-Columbia. I again worked with an amazing advisor who continues to be my mentor to this day. After five years of classes, a dissertation, and then a one-year full-time internship at the University of Oregon, I earned my Ph.D. With the faculty job market being super competitive, I then took a post-doctoral position for a year and half where I conducted more research and worked with clients, becoming a Licensed Psychologist (if you’re keeping count, we’re now at 9 1/2 years). Then, I landed “my dream job,” an academic position in the Counseling Psychology graduate training program at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
I started my position in 2007, and not long after, I was diagnosed with cancer. Needless to say, this put a kink in my plans. I took care of myself, stepping back from work to do so, and was able to add time on the proverbial tenure-clock to get better. After a difficult year (and then some), I got back on my feet and got back down to business. And, six and half years later, it’s paid off.
Yesterday, I got the official news that I am promoted and tenured to Associate Professor at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
Huge thanks to so many people who have helped me along the way in this journey. It’s an understatement to say I couldn’t have done it without you. xoxo