Category : Self-Portrait
How quickly the tears return,
Welling up, spilling over, streaming down.
The ache in the core of my chest,
Deep within my ribcage,
Under the muscles I’ve built this past year.
Strength from vulnerability.
Despite riding a high of friendship and being seen,
It’s still there.
It’s not about the past,
No, that is laid to rest.
It’s about today,
and the next,
and the next.
“I want to take all our pains away, but how would we then recognize happiness and joy?”
Happy October, friends! I’m relishing the autumn air, the turning leaves, and cozying under the covers. Along with enjoying the season, I have some good news to share — I have a piece published in the current issue of Somerset Life! The piece includes an article and nine photographs. What I might love the most about this work is that all nine photos are film shots across three different cameras and six types of film. This self-portrait is one of the images featured.
I hope you check out the article and photos. My hope is to build momentum from this published piece to push on with writing and working on 365 Impossible Self-Portraits.
Amidst the recent swirling, I’ve been reflecting on my one word for the year. Secure. Not only is this my word for the year, it is one of my core desired feelings. It is how I want to feel, what I want to manifest, and the place from which I want my life to spring forth. This word has been a guidepost for me this year. When I can’t see the forest for the trees, when I’m in the thick of the swirling, I reach for it time and time again.
I have often looked to others for this feeling. Wanting to be seen, heard, held by another to feel secure. And as much as I need the love and support of others — as much as we all do — I’ve been reminded recently that this feeling, this desire, has to come from within. That at the end of the day, I’m searching for my own internal place to rest in all that secure embodies.
Then, as I was driving home from the grocery yesterday, an old favorite Indigo Girls song “randomly” came on…
“Secure yourself to heaven.
Hold on tight, the night has come.
Fasten up your earthly burdens,
You have just begun.”
That’s right. This journey, in so many ways, is in its tender dawn. I have just begun. And that sense of trust, feeling rooted and secure, will come. It will come.
We’re back! Our epic trip to Spain and France was a blast, and I’m in denial that it’s over. While I’m waiting for my rolls of film to get developed and I take some time to scan my Polaroids, I thought I’d share a few fave iPhone shots to give you a peek into our travels.
We started in Madrid. The color “had me at hello…”
I cannot wait to get my film photos. I’m dying to see what I captured. Oh, and did I mention I didn’t take my digital SLR? I’m over at Mortal Muses today sharing a bit more about opting to leave “the big girl camera” at home while traveling. Click HERE to see more!