A Picture of Grief
As soon as I think I’m doing okay, coping well with the loss of Ripken, a tidal wave of grief crashes over me. Small things churn these waves. Driving past the vet’s office, looking at the dog bed with only Parker lying there, noticing only one set of bowls on the kitchen floor. And then, I lose it. The tears well in my eyes, my throat tightens, my stomach knots. I try to remind myself “it was for the best” and to remember he’s not suffering. Yet these phrases don’t offer much comfort. The sobs come as the tears spill over and streak my face.
As much as I want to feel better, to be able to focus and get work done, to “move on,” I know all too well that this is how grief goes. It will be an ebb and flow of feeling better and feeling worse. This time will be filled with many moments of feeling like it all just sneaked up on me. Again. Such is the nature of grief and loss. And as I reflect on Life Refocused and lessons from Alt about focusing on the intention of my website, I realize I am doing just that. This grief, this loss, this missing of Ripken is focusing on what matters. This picture of my grief is using photography to creatively capture an important moment in my life. I am hurting because I deeply loved. And that, for sure, is dwelling in what really matters.
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