Category : Funk

A little on being human and owning your shit…

Context: I’m not having a great week…not feeling like the shiniest version of myself these days (my former students will smile at that part).

Situation: I go to the post office this morning to mail off some things. One of the items is fragile. The woman waiting on me suggests I use a different packaging option than the bubble-wrap mailer I used and already addressed. She says that 70-pound boxes could be stacked on top and that I might want to use a box so my package doesn’t get damaged.

My reaction: I get frustrated. I audibly sigh (and I HATE sighing). I stomp over to the shipping box options. I’m snippy with her as she is trying to HELP me. I reluctantly take a box down from the shelving and stomp back over to her counter. I start addressing the box, sighing a bit more. And then it hits me.

Aha: I’m being an asshole to her. And my asshole-ness has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me.

My response: I stop writing the address. Look up and into this woman’s eyes and say, “I’m sorry. I’m not upset with you. I’m not in a good mood and I got snippy with you. I’m really sorry. I know you are trying to help me.”

Her response: “Thank you. And I understand.”

We went on to have a nice conversation. As two human beings. As two people in an ordinary situation that could have left us both feeling pretty crappy. And instead, I worked to pause, take a breath, and own my shit.

Here’s to being human and catching ourselves in it so we can respond and not react. Big love to you, friends. xoxo


Thursday, April 6th, 2017 1
Posted in: Community, Funk, Refocus

Surrender…

Surrender_rs


Thursday, February 21st, 2013 0

The truth is, January and February have felt hard. I’ve been struggling, friends, despite the good news that’s come my way and the creative dreams coming to light. My morning ritual slipped a bit, and that did not help matters. I was ignoring my body with the exception of sleep, and that didn’t help either. So after sitting with this funk for almost two months, I’ve begun to dust myself off. I’m back to my morning pages. And I’m back on the mat. I am learning the art of surrender.

Surrender_rsLearning the Art of Surrender by Kip Mazu

If you want to learn surrender,
then the next time
you are caught out in the rain
without a raincoat or umbrella,
rather than run for shelter,
allow yourself to get wet.

You will be very aware
of the resistance to getting wet,
that instinctual urge
to run for shelter,
the sense of ‘me’
that wants to protect itself.

This is what
must be surrendered
in order to stay out in the rain.

When this resistance
is surrendered,
and you allow yourself
to fully feel the experience
of being soaked,
then there is a sense of freedom
from yourself that carries with it
a sense of deep
unfathomable peace.

It has nothing to do
with liking the rain
or not liking the rain.

Rather, it is letting go
of the one that likes
or doesn’t like,
the one that separates
itself from the rain in the first place.

And when you do that
you are simply left
with what is.

There is no you
and what is,
there is simply what is.

And the experience
of what is
is peace,
is delight.

It is completely
open and vulnerable
and complete
in itself.

If you apply
this experience
of being in the rain
to any situation,
any emotion,
then there will be
incredible freedom.

It has nothing to do
with the particular experience,
rather it is about
letting go of the one
that separates itself
from experience,
letting go of the one
that tries to control
the experience.

Because it is that separation
that creates all conflict.


Thursday, February 21st, 2013 16

The past few weeks, even months, have been moving along full steam ahead. And while time is moving ever more quickly (yes, a sign that I’m growing older), life has been feeling pretty good. Really good. Actually, some things have been positively fan-freaking-tastic. And then, just like that, wham. All that goodness, that bit of fan-freaking-tastic-ness, seems to come to a grinding halt. Of course, not all of life has shifted, but it certainly feels that way. The stomach ache, the sleepless nights, the incessant dread lingering in the back of the head all seem to take over. The swirling has commenced.

I know that “this, too, shall pass.” But today, it’s here. Just like that.


Monday, November 12th, 2012 11

I’d planned to accomplish so much this long holiday weekend. I was going to head out to the State Fair to shoot some fun carnival-esque Polaroids. I planned to {finally} spend some time going through and editing my digital photos from France. And, I was going to draft a submission to a magazine in which I’d really like my photographs and words to be published. But the weekend did not unfold as I had planned.

Instead, I felt out of sorts, with a swollen eye that was (and is) causing me quite a bit of pain and discomfort. I spent some time at Urgent Care and then some time in bed. I didn’t go to the State Fair, didn’t edit photos from France, and didn’t write a draft for the magazine. Not the weekend as I’d planned, but the weekend as it was. And that will have to be okay.


Tuesday, September 4th, 2012 6